Soul Widows Retreat

4 widows met and enjoyed time together talking, crying, laughing, and relaxing while Marvelous Mandy led us in discussions on grief and society & the paradox of finding joy while grieving.

Spending this time with these beautiful women who are not even a year to this grief strengthened me. and also scared me. I was able to be “that girl” who can tell them there is hope. One day you may laugh again and really laugh from your belly, so hard that you might pee your pants. I used to listen to “that girl” and call BULLSHIT. Now I am that girl. I’m the one laughing and being silly. It also scared me because I saw the pain on their faces and didn’t want to go back to that pain. I knew I was going to have to share my story and that terrified me. I haven’t shared the story in a while. I haven’t gone back to that place and that day in a long time. I was scared those feelings of being lost would return. I would like to say I dealt with it, but honestly I pushed them away and focused on helping the newbies get through the weekend. Helping others helps me. I know I’ll have to deal with it sometime soon, but not this weekend. Tonight, maybe.

It was a very intense weekend. Even eating pizza was intense.

Being there with these amazing woman was powerful. Seeing how far I have come was overwhelming.

Overwhelmed with gratitude.