On Saturday after Thanksgiving, my parents, Carrie and I went to one of HeeJun’s favorite restaurant, Longhorn and had a lunch to honor him. I got this idea from the Soulwidows retreat, where one of the ladies mentioned that she lights a candle and shares stories of her husband at every holiday. I loved this idea. Last year I couldn’t even speak HeeJun’s name, but this year it just felt right.
I asked his friends and mine to send in memories of him. Below you will find their beautiful and kind words. I have taken out some of their names to protect the innocent.
We lit a candle for HeeJun, but I had to blow it out because we were getting evil stares from the manager!
From his best friend from childhood- “Hee-Jun meant so much and so many different things to me, he was different from all my other friends in the sense that he could be so many different people and just be Hee-Jun all in one. Not only was he such a vital part of my childhood socialization. One of lifes most important lessons I learned from Hee-Jun and that is ‘not to care so much about what others think about me’. He was always there when I needed to talk to somebody as I entered high school, college and as other major life events came about. Hee-Jun moving to Raleigh devastated me, but we still were tight, I always wished I would have gone to high school with him, it would have been fun. I could always have fun with Hee-Jun, whether playing baseball, football, video games, watching movies or whatever, and Hee-Jun also had a great listening ability, as a young adult when life changing events occured in my life Hee-Jun was always one of the first people I called and spoke with, eventhough he was in Charlotte he was one of my first friends to know Margie was pregnant, he was the first friend I called when I proposed to Margie and he was the first person I wanted to speak with when Marcus passed….in addition to his great listening skills, he was always very calming, never, never would he lose his cool and nothing ever seemed to un-nerve him, thats why his opinion and thoughts were so valuble and helpful to me, it sounds almost too simple to say but it was always great to talk to him, he just had this energy about him and I miss him dearly……I always had a selfish wish that I kept to myself, I always wished you & him would move back to Raleigh and our family’s could hang out together all the time, but I am soothed when I think about him and Marcus in heaven together, I know my Marcus has somebody really special to show him the ropes……..
From a good friend from high school- I wanted to share some memories because I was thinking back and it made me smile to think of all of us so young and carefree so I wanted to share. One main memory I have of HeeJun is that brown oldmobile (or whatever type of car it was). I remember he was the oldest and the first to have his license so we’d all cram into that car, including the trunk. My mom had a fit one day when we drove up to the house and people hopped out of the trunk. She fussed at us for days about how unsafe that was! I also remember hitting 75 on Creedmoor Road in that car, and being turned on to country music because it was constantly blaring out of those speakers. I still always think of Heej when I hear Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places”.
From a wonderful middle school/ high school friend- My favorite memory of Heej is from the 9th grade, driving around in his sweet brown car while blasting Baton Rouge by Garth Brooks. He had such a great robot-y sounding laugh too. Nothing could be more perfect. He was the first driver of us all!
From Aaron Carrol, his small group discipler and friend from college- When I think of Heejun I think of the idea of ‘conviction’. For me Heejun is and will always be the poster child for conviction. When Heejun would come to embrace a truth he would do so with a tenacity that was unrivaled. It was initially this same conviction that kept Heejun from committing his life to the Lord, but the truth of the matter is that it is the Lord who created us and gave us our unique personalities. It was the Lord who made Heejun with the convition that he had and eventually it was with that same conviction that Heejun embraced the truth of the Gospel. And as the lord was pleased to cultivate our friendship, I had the incredible privilege to watch this conviction grow with time.
Those are the two thoughts I would leave with you today, two thoughts of many that endure in my mind about a man I miss dearly and am so thnkful to have considered a friend.
From a high school buddy-since i have been back in raleigh i have been thinking about how bad high school sucked except when i think about heejun i realize how fun it was. I wish i have a single memory but I feel like i made heejun do a lot of things he wouldnt have usually done like we played basketball a lot against really good players and he held his own (there were a lot of borderline illegal things i dragged him along on and to his credit he went along and didnt tell me not to do them). He did all those things with a nice quiet companionship (which is i know in some ways a little out of character at the time). I remember him getting the same amp as me and then not letting me hook it up in his mustang because he knew i’d screw his car up. and to that end i remember him getting me to listen to cds that like no one else had like that damn K7 cd and that bad boys soundtrack with that diana king song that he loved so much (i wont go into the country music transformation that i feel was out of character but i know was really not). I remember upgrading his parents pc for him and watching him and richard play this dungeon game for 12 hours and him getting me to buy this obscure wonderboy sega game that became me and my brothers like favorite game. when you put all that together I feel like high school was so stressful and complicated to me and I just seem to think that heejun wasn’t fazed by all that crap even though he would complain it was like part of his schtick and it didn’t really matter to him because of the way i remember him handling himself when i went places with him. I know this rambles and i know its colorful but its how i feel and it makes me miss that period in all our lives. I can’t speak to after that time and that bothers me. We get old and its like we can’t get close to friends like we were at that time ever again. We can get close to our wives and kids and family but not friends. from what I do know heejun did what he wanted which was ride bikes spend time with you and drive a fast car. and once again i envy him for that because i wasted a lot of my time after high school.
A church friend wrote- Heej once told me he never wanted to make much more money than he was making at the time. Said extra money would be more trouble than its worth. Great lesson for me on contentment & second-order consequences.
My best friend said-I remember meeting Heej for the first time in Clement Dorms 🙂 I think he came down to visit you around halloween or right before Christmas Conference. I think it was Halloween. Also I remember the housewarming party you guys had when you first got the house – all of us sitting around playing the “Friends” game. and watching “Friends”. He spanked all of us!
A college friend wrote-remember the gift you gave him on your wedding day. i helped “art direct” the photoshoot with Amy. You loved him so much, I was happy that your wedding was perfect. I chuckled when I thought about you giving it to him right before you walked down the asile…it was so you. making him laugh. Hope you have a wonderful night with all the beautiful stories.
A best friend wrote-I have a happy laughing memory of all of us having a .party at your house, and HeeJun and Richard were being crazy and HeeJun was dancing, what a fabulous sight!
His neighbor and friend-I remember him talking about you. Erica, he had the BIGGEST crush on you for soooooo long
A church friend-When you guys came over to visit us right after Amelia was born, I remember asking Heejun if he wanted to hold her he said, “No” I was taken back then I asked, “why?” He said, “You wouldn’t ask to drive my corvette, I’m not going to ask to hold your baby.” I just remember laughing, and thinking how sweet that was.
His neighbor and friend-Emily and I were jumping on his trampoline and our hair was getting all messed up, so we asked if he could find one of Bomi’s scrunchies (sorry Bomi). He went into the house and returned with two king-sized Butterfinger bars. We were so excited for the yummy treats and ate them. Afterwards we said, “Thanks so much! Did you ever find the scrunchies?” He answered, “I thought you wanted munchies!”
His boss wrote me this letter– “…some friendships are built on a common outlook on life. People who have little in common in their personalities can still forge a friendship because they see life in the same way…Our personalities weren’t particularly alike, but we saw the world the same way. I think that is why I liked him so much. He and I viewed life so similarly, from the mundane to the profound. As for the mundane- we both loved to eat…We also had similar minds for technology…I had no idea he would turn out so good at it (when he was hired). He soaked it all up like a sponge. I sincerely believe he was the sharpest technical mind in our organization. The quality that really differentiated him as a technician was his understanding of how things worked as opposed to how to do things. The best technicians genuinely understand why things happen. “
“It could have hindered his career…Now I wonder if he was right all along. If telling the truth, hinders ones career, then let it be hindered. It is said that good leaders always keep someone around who is willing to tell them the unvarnished truth when they are getting off track. I always thought HeeJun that he was the perfect person for that job. I hoped maybe he could be that for me as we advanced in our careers. “
“My life is enriched for having know HeeJun. He was not one of my closest friends, but he was one of my favorite people. I miss him”.
We honor and remember you, HeeJun.
And if you made it through that whole long post, here are some fun puppy pictures!
Erica, I LOVE this idea! It’s so great to read everyone’s memories of HeeJun and makes me wish that I had known him better. I might have to steal this idea and do something to honor my sister. December 14th will make 7 years since her car accident. It would be so great to hear people’s memories.
This made me smile and feel warm through and through. Initially I didn’t want to read it because I figured I’d be bawling by the end, but instead, I feel warmed by the spirit of the man you loved, and whose friends can leave with you such fun memories.