I laid in bed last night and I was ridiculously happy. I thought this is what marriage is supposed to be like. This self-less, can’t wait to get home to you, can’t wait to make you happy and hear you laugh, kind of love. Then I thought, damn I hope I made HeeJun this happy. It makes me sad to think of all the times I was so selfish and stupid in our marriage. I remember the fights and how angry we would get at each other. I hope underneath those trivial stupid fights, he had this feeling of utter happiness and joy. I hope when he thougth about our marriage he felt love and that he was loved.
Did the feeling of guilt slip in that I didn’t give him my best?
Perhaps.
But then I remembered Dude is in Heaven and experiencing way more joy than I can even imagine.
You have always brought joy and sunshine to everyone you come in contact with. I know you made him happy. Love you!
As always, thanks for sharing!
I have no doubt you were the biggest ray of sunshine in HeeJun’s life 🙂 By the way, you and HeeJ were together for many years and became adults during that time. Those growing pains can be tough..cut yourself a break 🙂
AMEN,NONI