This blog started out as a way for me to honor HeeJun, let people know how I am doing and a way for me to get my emotions out. Most of the time after I posted I felt so much better. I was able to work out my emotions and not feel so alone. It was also a way for me to let others know what was going on without me having to talk. There’s alot of posts I kept private that were just of me cussing or complaining about the stupid people in my life who abandoned me. It was an excellent way for me to just write about HeeJun and it was also a bit humorous because before all this I didn’t even know how to start a blog! I really believe starting this blog was one of the most healing things I did for myself. It helped me be connected to so many others who were going through the same thing. It gave me a new blogging family. It also connected me to my friends and family and it helped me work out my own emotions.
This blog started so sad. I read the posts now and I am in awe that I made it through. I can remember that dreadful dark and heavy feeling. I can taste the grief in my words. The colors are HeeJun’s favorite colors. The pictures are of HeeJun.
Well, what do I do now? What does blog about grief become once joy returns? The grief will always be there. Just because joy has returned does not make “it all better”. We all know this. I want to continue writing so people know that. Maybe other widows will read this and be encouraged. Or maybe it will piss them off. I’m torn sometimes when posting. I don’t want people to read the joyful posts and think “yay! She’s all better” or to the contrary, “well, she just isn’t acknowledging her grief”. See, there I go again, worrying about what other people think of my grief. Haven’t I learned yet that it doesn’t matter what people think.
OK. So this blog is going to change. It pretty much has already, right? It’s a journey. It’s still going to be Chillin’ With Lemonade because the hope for my life is that I will one day be chilling with lemonade with my Savior.
But I might change the colors…PURPLE, anyone?
I am so glad that you addressed this! I have also wondered what people think when things are going well…. and I wonder how my own blog will transform over the years. I agree that blogging is super helpful to get those raw emotions out in written language.
and I am hopeful that you will continue to blog your journey…. all of the good stuff… and the bad.
Your blog has been an encouragement to me…. and I pray that you will continue to find the happiness that you deserve!! 🙂
Hi there,
I think it’s wonderful how happy you are now!!
Congratulations!! Can’t wait to read about your new adventures!!
I’d love to re-post this to Widows Christian Place on a Wednesday “Widow’s Story.” Would you mind if I posted the text and of course credited it to you and linked so others could then visit the rest of your blog? Your honesty will help so many others on their journey. Please let me know what you’d permit. Thanks! (I also want to visit where you honey-mooned! It looks great!)
yay! the blog must go on… your story’s definitely not over. your words comfort and inspire so many and I love ALL your posts. It’s a blessing to follow your journey. Rock on E! 🙂
I was going through such a bad time and I never really believed in spells until I met Dr Lametu he is such an unbelievable man words can’t describe what he did for me my life is completely turned around I fell inlove and we going to get married 😀 I’m just so happy to have met him he changed my life ever since I met him I’ve being feeling so positive its incredible what he has done for me my heart goes out to him if any of you are going trough a rough time contact him ancientspiritualtemple@gmail.com I promise you won’t regret it
Without doubt, Apple’s application store wins utilizing a mile. It’s many hundreds all kinds of apps vs a fairly sad range of a smattering for Zune. Ms has designs, especially with the realm in games, but I’m unsure I’d like to bet in the future in cases where this aspect is extremely important to one. The apple ipod is a greater choice it’s likely that.