I picked up my beautiful wedding dress, placed it in the car and then received a phone call.
It was the cemetery where HeeJun is buried. I forgot I sent them email a while ago asking about placing a marker there for me. I don’t plan on being buried there. That would be weird for Chad, right? Maybe I’ll be cremated and spread on HeeJun’s grave and kept with Chad and my family. Weird thoughts only a widow gets to have.
Even though I don’t plan on being there for several reasons, (one being that all the plots around HeeJ were bought out after he died. Don’t get me started…. ), I would still like to have something there as a way to say I WAS HERE. Is that selfish? I need to really think about why that’s important for me. I’m sure it has something to do with family and abandonment. But it’s also important for me that people know he had a wife. I wonder if I can just plant a tree or put a little angel there or something….
So, the beautiful wedding dress is in my car and I’m on the phone with the funeral guy. I couldn’t help but laugh. Only an engaged widow gets to experience this.