Brittany’s calendar says she will be off of work at 6:00.
6:30 she’s not here.
7:00 She’s not here and not answering my text.
7:30 Chad says “she probably picked up a few extra hours”.
8:00 The dogs start barking at the window.
I think the troopers are at the door. They are here to tell me she was in an accident and is dead. I try to take deep breaths and tell myself to calm down and stop panicking. Traumatic experiences can mess a person up. Geez. I quietly walk to the window just to make sure the troopers aren’t sitting outside. They sat outside for a while before they came in to tell me about HeeJun. What if they are out there making sure they have the right address? Deep breath. No one is out there. Then I start thinking, what if because I thought this I put that thought out there. What if it happens because I thought it? ERICA, calm down. That’s nuts. On the outside, I look calm, maybe a little nervous. Inside, I’m freaking out. I start rehearsing how I will react in my mind when they tell me. Will I scream? Will I believe it? Freaking out.
8:05 Brittany comes home. She picked up a few extra hours.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)
For God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)