Sometimes I can still taste the grief. That’s how strong it is. I can taste it and feel it tightening every muscle in my body. It’s amazing how physical grief is.
Sometimes I’m driving to work alone and I’ll remember that dreaded feeling I had every morning. I’ll remember how hard it was to breathe. Sometimes when I’m at the grocery store, I can remember what it felt like to be a zombie walking the aisles. Sitting on the couch watching television, I can remember the days where all I could do was watch tv.
I have to take deep breath when that happens. Sometimes it’s good and okay to let those emotions in. Most of the time it’s a blessing that I can still remember. It is a reminder of how far I have come, how far God has brought me, how faithful and comforting God has been. Then I stand in amazement.
So you don’t leave this post all glum and sad, here are some cute pictures of Juneau and Moorea.
Erica, Every time I see read one of your posts I hope that you are coming to Camp Widow this year. I don’t know why I keep thinking this (aside from the fact that I love Camp so much), but I have learned in the last five years to stop aslking so many questions and to follow the call. So here I am again, saying not only are you welcome at camp, but Chad is too. We even have a workshop planned for new partners of widowed people should he feel so inclinded. You will find info at http://www.sslf.org if you are interested.
And in any case, may you continue to be blessed through this journey of life.
Michele