Well not really full circle. More like went around the circle and then jumped to a different dimension…or half a circle…or things changed.
This New Year’s Eve I went back to my hometown to visit friends and introduce Chad to the “village” that raised me.
On New Year’s Eve, Chad and I went to The Radez’ household for a party. Tons of my old college friends and Campus Crusade friends were there. Married with babies. Praise God I went this year and not last! I would have been a disaster last year. All those happy families with babies! But this year, I’m different. I’m happy.
The funniest part of the night was that I overheard the two “coolest” guys from college talking about diapers and what time they put their kids to bed. Cracked me up! My, how we’ve changed!
New Year’s Day I went to lunch with the friends I grew up with. Jacquie, Sarah, Elizabeth and I have known each other for ever. Sarah and I were next door neighbors from 5-18 years old. Our parents still live next door to each other. Jacquie lives one street down. Elizabeth lived three streets over. We lived in a great neighborhood.
My parents hosted an Open House that afternoon. Just a few people turned into the whole neighborhood, plus some!
Both days were strange experiences for me. Identity crises. These people are supposed to be sad for me, not happy. They’re supposed to be crying sad tears, not joyful tears. Last time I saw all my neighbors together was for the gathering after the funeral when all I could do was sit on Sarah’s porch swing and rock while everyone mingled. This time, I was standing and standing beautifully and stronglyI might add. I was laughing and hugging my fiancée.
It was a very strange emotion. At first I was overwhelmed and wanted to make them all stop being so happy for me. Wait! Don’t forget what happened! I started thinking those little lies that “everyone must think I’m horrible for getting married so soon, they must think I’m over HeeJ or never really loved him”. Those are all lies from Satan. Stealing my joy. People are happy for me because they haven’t forgotten. They know what I’ve been through and they have been with me the whole time.
So, I went upstairs, hugged Chad, took some deep breaths, drank a sip or two of champagne and realized this is going to be FUN!!!
Love it. Oddly enough, our Bible study tonight was all about coming full circle! (Talked about Gilgal and that being the place that God brings the Israelites full circle and breaking old cycles or just bringing them back to a place they were before, etc.). What a good picture of that. I’m going to share this post with my small group.
So, so sorry that we missed the open house! I was thinking about you. 🙂 I’m so excited for you and all of the joy in your life. Let me know next time you’re in town… I’d love to catch up!!
“People are happy for me because they haven’t forgotten”
EXACTLY! Love you!!