2010 July » Chillin' With Lemonade

Today would have been HeeJun’s 32nd birthday.

I can’t remember what I did last year for his birthday. This year I see how far I have come. the healing has begun, I guess.

This year I spent it going to see Eclipse with great friends.
I spent the morning with my Sarah and her precious miracle.

I had lunch with Matt, Amanda and the adorable kiddos. They made a cake for HeeJun. My God-daughter told me I could have a piece of the purple cake.

I went to the ridiculous grave site and gave HeeJun an orange smiley face balloon.

I think he would have really liked today. He probably would have gone for a ride while I visited friends. He would have loved spending time with Matt. His sister would have made him a cake. I would have bought a balloon and three cards.

32. sigh.
I wrote last year, ” wonder if someone had told you at your birthday last year that you only had 23 more days on Earth, would you have seen it as a gift to be with your Savior in 23 days?” wow! That’s some deep stuff, Erica!

HeeJun would be appalled. I got a tattoo. I have heard that getting a tattoo is something lots of grieving people do as a way to remember. I knew I wanted one right after the funeral, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t the grief talking. It wasn’t.

I went Tuesday and told JB at Tattoo Bills my story. I brought a letter HeeJun wrote to me that had the words “Love never dies” written in it. He used HeeJun’s handwriting. He designed it. It’s the Christian symbol if the Fish with the letter Love Never Dies written in HeeJ’s handwriting and his initials HJK underneath.

I love it. It didn’t really hurt at all. It felt like a dog scratching me. I actually almost fell asleep and I promise I wasn’t on any medication. That might be how my body copes with stress, though. During the whole process and anticipation before, I kept telling myself, “I have been through worse. Geez. I saw my husband laying in a casket. I can at least get a tattoo.”

And I did!