God is so mysterious. Let me show you how…
Chad and C were in the same class together in elementary school. 
They met again later on in life as “grown ups” and became friends.
C and HeeJun rode together. That’s them in the middle.
After HeeJun’s accident, C adopted me into her family of friends. I remember meeting her at the funeral. She invited me over to dinner on 11/27/09. So did this guy named Chad.
I remember seeing his eyes. I remember he was rocking a child in a rocking chair reading her a story while we were eating pizza. I thought that was sweet. But I wasn’t ready to date. I was barely ready to breathe.
He was patient. He was understanding. He sent me flowers after we went for a hike together. I freaked out. Thanks to a lot of Godly counsel and prayer, I got through it and realized what gift, what a blessing this guy is and that I was ready to date.
He gets me, and that is a hard thing. He reminds me to breathe. There is no support group for dating a widow. I’m kinda nuts.
I told him after a few dates that I had big plans for us. I planned to fall totally and completely in love with him. 
Saturday, he proposed. I kept saying, “is this for real?” I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. I had to take a deep breath and tell myself to really BE in this moment. Soak it in.
He made us a book titled “Finding Joy Again and holding on to it”. It was filled with our pictures and our story.
The last page…I seriously didn’t see it coming. I thought he was just giving me an early Christmas present.
Can you believe God brought me here? I never would have thought. I was showing my friends the ring at work and we were remembering the days when they had to literally carry me out of the car to walk me through the parking lot. We were remembering the days where I would fall on the steps sobbing, where I woke up cursing every morning and couldn’t imagine life being good or happy again. Then slowly, God started bringing back glimpses of joy. My sister moved in with me. My Faith was renewed. I slowly began trusting God and forgiving others. If you have read this blog from the beginning, you can see it.
I think that as I was getting to that place,God gifted me with Chad, as a blessing. Not as a replacement or as a fix for the loneliness, but as a true reflection of Christ’s love for me, His mercy, His compassion and His grace.
I am astounded and I am going to hold on to this joy.
