You know when you have a bunch of kids and you accidently call the kid someone else’s name? I was always called Brittany. At work the kids call me Ariel all the time. I call my dog the wrong name often. Sometimes I used to call Juneau, HeeJun all the time just out of habit.
What if I call Chad HeeJun’s name? In the rush of a moment? Like “HeeJun, can you pass the milk?” Like a brain fart or old habit?
Our wedding date is set for April 9th (just us and family). I keep telling people it’s August 9th (the day HeeJun died). Brain fart. habit.
Sometimes everything feels so familiar, habitual. Familiar yet surreal. Sometimes it feels so wonderfully different. April 9th will be so different than August 9th. Chad and HeeJun are different in so many wonderful ways.
I am different in so many wonderful ways.