There is so much hurt and heartbreak around me now. I never got it, but it really is everywhere.

I had coffee today with an amazingly strong “2 week old” widow. She probably won’t even remember our conversation. I know I don’t remember much of what happened for those first months. Our stories are completely different. Yet, I know that blank stare. I know those tears.

One topic of conversation was the comparison game widows and, well, mostly everyone around us plays. “At least, you don’t have kids” or “Thank goodness you have kids”. “At least you are so young” vs. “Aren’t you glad you had so many years together”. “At least he died suddenly and quickly” vs. “Aren’t you glad you knew and had time to talk about death.”

I’ve learned that there is no way to compare grief. Kids, no kids, old, young…grief is hard no matter what. Losing your love, losing the life you dreamed of hurts, aches, takes your breath away.