Erica

I have finished several things in the past week.

The scrapbook is completed.

The journal of all the memories I have of HeeJun is on the last page and last memory.

I “graduated” from my counseling sessions.

Moorea is going to graduate from puppy class this week.

I can’t describe what I have been feeling lately. If someone asks me how I am doing, or what i have been up to, I honestly can’t recall. I can only tell you what I am feeling right then, at that very moment. Unless I am reminded of something, “oh yeah, that’s right, I did go to a concert; oh yeah, that’s right, i did meet up with friends; oh yeah,I did get teary-eyed at that party…”, i have a hard time remembering. It’s not memory loss. I think I’m just taking the saying “one moment at a time” very literally.

So, if you catch me in those moments where I am laughing and enjoying work,

Don’t give up.

It would be so easy to give up on God when tradegy strikes.

Our culture, the world and some stupid people teach us that God is like Santa. All rainbows and lollipops. If we believe the idea that He bring us good things if we are well-behaved, then it would be so easy to give up on Him when bad things happen.

The Truth is that He never promises an easy life. In fact He talks about trials, persecution, and even earthquakes. But many of us grow up thinking that if we believe in God, everything will be ok and safe. Then, a car crash happens, a baby dies, a squirrel runs out in front of a motorcycle, an earthquake crushes a city, a heart gives out. Our Faith is shaken.

God never says bad things won’t happen. Sin came into the world. Satan roams the world we can’t even see. Jesus gifted us with Free Will. We are human and our bodies are fragile. Yep, bad things are going to happen.

But He does promise to be there for us when those bad things happen. He promises to never leave us. He promises to comfort us, to hold us. He promises to bring us out from the crashing waves. He promises that soon there will be no more death and He will wipe our tears. He weeps with us when we are hurting.

Oh, I know that is so hard to believe and hear when you are in the midst of the pain. I even wrote in one of these posts that I hated God. I know.

But I also know what it’s like to keep holding on and fighting.

So, don’t give up.

Completed

Keep Holding On