Erica

Another big, and expected (duh) change is my new Alarmist personality.

Chad has a cold. It’s pneumonia and he’s going die. Chad is on the roof. He’s going to fall off and be paralyzed. Brittany didn’t text. She was in a car accident. Baby has a fever. Take her to the hospital. We hear a boom in the woods. A house blew up.

It has almost become a joke.

One of the things I asked him to complete this year is to sign up for life insurance (I know! Why don’t we have it yet!?) and to make a list of all the passwords, bills he pays, and how-to’s in the house. Oh my word! I hope and pray I will never, ever, ever have to use it. But the alarmist in me says otherwise.

Praise God that He knows my heart and cares for me. Thank God that I know He is in control.

I’m a different wife as a Larter.

Duh.

Tragedy will change a person.

I was so selfish with HeeJun. We both were. Many, many fights were simply about our own selfishness. What he wasn’t doing for me. The shoes he wouldn’t put away. The socks I wouldn’t fold. My weight and lack of self control. Resentment and bitterness crept in at times. Can you believe I slept on the couch sometimes? What a selfish, naïve girl! We just didn’t know what it meant to love selflessly.

I learned a lot after losing him.

I’ve walked by Chad’s tools laying on the floor and laughed thinking, “man, that would have driven me nuts before.” When my mind starts to get overwhelmed with all the things I WANT, WANT, WANT for the house, I laugh and remember it’s not important. Those things will fade. They are not my treasures.

“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Now, I think about all the things he does for me that make me feel so loved, and I help pick up the tools. No nagging or resentment. (Ask me about the tools after we’ve been married a year…I know we are still honeymooning Smile )

I try not to let things stress me out. I want to give selflessly. I want to love selflessly.

Ring the Alarm

This one’s different