Erica

May 242011
 

The handy men are upstairs painting every wall in the new house, so I am busy trying to look busy. I can’t find the chord thingy that uploads pictures onto the computer so you will have to wait for the unveiling of the new house pictures!

Here are some noteworthy items of late:

1. I don’t think I have worked this hard physically in a long, long time. We are moving huge pieces of furniture, clearing out the garage, clearing out 1.75 acres of weeds, and removing trees! Chad is a mover and a shaker. He is determined to get things done, even at 10pm! I have been very proud of myself for being able to stick to the job, complain little and not focus on getting a soda or coffee. On the days when I have to get up early, I have been very proud of myself for not pitching a tantrum and whining about needing coffee all day. That was the old, self-centered, naive Me. I don’t ever want to be that again. I have learned that spending the time with your loved ones is way more important than coffee or sleeping in until noon. Whining and complaining is not worth it. I am loving every minute of this new adventure. We are having so much fun!

2. We are working on combining some accounts and stuff. I called two banks yesterday.

Conversation 1:

Me: I need to log in and it won’t let me.

Bank Idiot: You are not the primary account user. It’s your husband. Do you know his password?

Patient Me: It’s my late husband. I don’t know his password.

Bank Idiot: Oh, will he be home later?

Brilliant Me: No, late as in passed away. Do you need his death certificate?

Bank Idiot: Oh, well you can guess his password then…

Conversation 2:

Me: I still can’t log in.

Bank Moron: You are not the primary account holder.

A little annoyed Me: I just changed it two seconds ago. (getting exasperated).

Bank Moron: I need the account holder’s password.

Super Me: The account holder was my husband who has been dead almost three years and I am still dealing with this crap!

Can you tell I wa getting a little annoyed? I have turned in the death certificate and changed everything over, but still things come in the mail in his name, are still held in his name on accounts, and all kinds of other weird stuff. It’s a good thing I am who I am and I have lots of patience, understanding and a sense of humor. I just laugh it off. I also found it interesting the way i dealt with the last conversation. I jsut blantantly said “dead three years” and I wanted to move on to fixing the problem. Two years ago, I would have ended up sobbing on the phone just saying those words. The banker would have said their obligatory “so sorry for your loss” and I would have ended up a blubbering mess. This time I was pissed. Make it right and stop being stupid!

3. We live out in the country. Chad would not call it the country, but this city girl who lived in a neighborhood where you could reach out the window and touch your neighbor’s house, where there were home owner’s association that told you what color flowers you could have, 5 swimming pools in one neighborhood, and a huge mall 5 minutes away…I think it is the country. Country means bugs and mice. I am getting used to it and kind of fond of thecrickets  chirping. Oh, and the beautiful bird songs are really amazing. Oh, and deer in the back yard! Ok…It is amazing. But bugs and mice! Ewww. We had one in the basement yesterday. I screamed and literally jumped on the couch. The next day, the little squirt ran right across Darcie the Hero Dog, and she didnt even move. She just opened her mouth, clamped down and caught that little rascal in her mouth. So cool, and so gross. She is such a good dog. She has been handsomely rewarded for protecting me from the big bad mouse and for restraining herself from eating it. That would have just been too disgusting!

 Posted by at 5:21 pm
May 052011
 

May 3rd, 2003 HeeJun and I were married. It would have been 8 years. I didn’t quite know how to “celebrate” or what to do to acknowledge the day. How do you celebrate/ mourn a marriage that was without hurting the marriage that is? It’s tricky. Praise God Chad is so confident and wonderful. He’s okay if I say I miss HeeJ. The strange thing this year was that I didn’t miss HeeJ in a “oh, I want him back NOW” way. Rather it was a sadness that he had to suffer and had to die. He was such a cool, inspiring and fun person. The emotion I felt was sadness that he didnt get to be here to experience all the wonderful things I have in my life now. Weird feeling and it took me a while to define that emotion.

Chad brought me flowers, a Mocha and a sweet card. He cooked dinner and let me just sit on the couch. During my hour to myself after work, I looked through the Kim wedding album. So young and naive. We had no clue.

On our 5 year anniversary, the last one we celebrated together, we went white water rafting. It was terrifying, but fun. More terrifying for me, fun for him. That’s a memory that makes me smile and those are the memories I held on to to celebrate our 8 year anniversary.

 Posted by at 3:30 pm