I laid in bed last night and I was ridiculously happy. I thought this is what marriage is supposed to be like. This self-less, can’t wait to get home to you, can’t wait to make you happy and hear you laugh, kind of love. Then I thought, damn I hope I made HeeJun this happy. It makes me sad to think of all the times I was so selfish and stupid in our marriage. I remember the fights and how angry we would get at each other. I hope underneath those trivial stupid fights, he had this feeling of utter happiness and joy. I hope when he thougth about our marriage he felt love and that he was loved.
Did the feeling of guilt slip in that I didn’t give him my best?
Perhaps.
But then I remembered Dude is in Heaven and experiencing way more joy than I can even imagine.
You have always brought joy and sunshine to everyone you come in contact with. I know you made him happy. Love you!
As always, thanks for sharing!
I have no doubt you were the biggest ray of sunshine in HeeJun’s life
By the way, you and HeeJ were together for many years and became adults during that time. Those growing pains can be tough..cut yourself a break 
AMEN,NONI